Senate Invasion – Thugs That Stole Senate’s Mace Finally Arrested, Placed In Handcuff

 

The thugs who invaded the Nigerian Senate yesterday and stole its mace have been identified and arrested, according to reports.

The five suspects have been arrested by the FCT police command after they brazenly broke into the chambers of the National assembly and forcefully escaped with the Mace, the symbol of authority of the nation’s legislation chambers.

The criminals were allegedly led into the Red Chambers by suspended Senator, Ovie Omo-Agege and they are all from Delta State.

The names are:

Peter Orede – Warri South LGA

Blessing Edjeke from Abraka In Ethiope East LGA

Tuoyo Mabiaku – Warri North Local Government Area

MY PROBLEM WITH PROFESSORS OF ENGLISH:

A young girl newly married to a professor of English ran to her mother and said she was tired of the 2 week old marriage and would never go back to him.

The shocked mother asked her what the problem was.
The girl said her husband is so obsessed with his field of study that even outside the classroom, he teaches English to everyone that comes his way.
She said she cannot hold a 5 minute discussion with him plainly without him bringing long, high sounding words that often leave her confused and with a severe headache.

The mother asked for examples of such trouble causing expressions and the girl said:

Yesterday, I asked him if the plumber had fixed  the leaking tap.
He said: My response to your inquiry is positively in the affirmative.
The mother asked the girl: What does that mean?
The girl replied: He simply meant yes.

Last week, I asked him if it is true his friend really travelled and he said:
 His proclamation is a gross distortion of reality a reflection of terminological inexactitude.

The amazed mother said: Wow, meaning what?
The girl said:
He meant to say he lied.

Another time, I asked why he looked pale and he said:
My general systemic metabolism standard is physiologically in a state of total indisposition.
The frightened mother asked her daughter: Oh my, what did he mean by that?
The girl said:
Oh, he meant he was ill.

Again, last Tuesday, I told him I heard on the radio that man will soon land on Mars.

He said: I find that assertion so ludicrous that I cant help but explode in a mirthful guffaw.

The mother asked:
Really? And what did he do?

The girl replied:
He just laughed.

Finally, on Sunday afternoon, my friend visited us, and as she was going, he said:

This is wishing you an expeditionary voyage and a locomotive advancement to your ultimate destination.

Mother said: Unbelievable ! What message was he passing to her?

Girl said: Go well.

The mother said:
Enough ! Say no more.
Remain at home.

Buhari’ make a comment on Gaddafi twisted for cheap political goals – Presidency

Presidential spokesman Femi Adesina has said that President Muhammadu Buhari’s comments on former Libyan leader, Muammar Gaddafi, on the killings by herdsmen in Nigeria was misinterpreted to score cheap political goals.
Buhari had on Wednesday in London told Archbishop Justin Welby that the farmers/herdsmen clashes were made worse by the influx of armed gunmen from the Sahel region in Nigeria and other parts of West African sub-region.

The president was quoted at the meeting as saying: “The problem is even older than us. It has always been there, but now made worse by the influx of armed gunmen from the Sahel region into different parts of the West African sub-region.

These gunmen were trained and armed by Muammar Gadaffi of Libya.

“When he was killed, the gunmen escaped with their arms. We encountered some of them fighting with Boko Haram. Herdsmen that we used to know carried only sticks and maybe a cutlass to clear the way, but these ones now carry sophisticated weapons.

“The problem is not religious, but sociological and economic. But we are working on solutions.’’

Read More: Uproar in Senate over Buhari blaming Gadaffi for killings

The presidential aide, however, frowned at the way and manner Buhari’s comment was twisted in the social media and some traditional media outfits for political reasons.

He said: “Since President Muhammadu Buhari met with the Archbishop of Canterbury in London on Wednesday, and spoke on the likely impact of gunmen trained by former Libyan leader, Muammar Gaddafi, on the killings by herdsmen in Nigeria, some people have virtually flown off the handle, ululating as if wailing was going out of fashion.

“They twisted the meaning of Mr President’s words (yes, some people twist everything, even the words of God; 2 Peter:3, 15,16). They claimed he was blaming Gaddafi, long dead, for the killings in Nigeria.

“But let’s see the vacuousness and intellectual laziness in the twist they have given what President Buhari said, out of sheer malice and evil hearts. Sadly, even a Senator was involved in the sickening display of poisonous heart.

“That’s what you get when small minds get into high places.’’

Champions League draw: There will be a draw for who takes the home dressing room in the final

Champions League draw: There will be a draw for who takes the home dressing room in the final
European heavyweights Real Madrid and Bayern Munich are the big-hitters in Friday's Champions League semi-final draw but Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp does not under-estimate surprise package Roma.

On the night when the Reds were securing a 5-1 aggregate win over Manchester City, the Serie A side produced a major shock in overturning a 4-1 first-leg deficit to beat Barcelona on away goals.

With the last-four line-up completed by 12-time winners and defending champions Real Madrid and Bayern Munich, who have lifted the trophy five times, real pedigree potentially awaits Klopp's team.

Real have won three of the last four finals while Bayern's last win was in 2013 - against Klopp's Borussia Dortmund - after finishing runner-up twice in three years.

By contrast Liverpool, for whom the last of their five triumphs came in Istanbul in 2005, are in their first Champions League semi-final for a decade.

Although Roma are in the last-four for only the second time after finishing runners-up in 1984, Klopp was impressed with the manner of their comeback against Barcelona

Liverpool press conference live as Jurgen Klopp reaction to Champions League draw

Liverpool continued their impressive run of form to beat Manchester City and book their place in the last four of the Champions League.

The Reds recorded an emphatic 5-1 aggregate win over their Premier League rivals to reach the semi-finals of Europe's elite club competition.

Jurgen Klopp's men return to Premier League action when they take on Bournemouth on Saturday as they look to cement their place in the top four.

Liverpool are 10 points clear of fifth-placed Chelsea, who have a game in hand.

You can follow the latest news from Melwood when Klopp faces the cameras on Friday afternoon.

11:06
Klopp reveals Liverpool's Salah going nowhere
Jurgen Klopp has offered Liverpool fans the transfer news they most want to hear - Mo Salah is going nowhere.

The Reds’ boss revealed that his world-class forward knows Anfield is the best place for him.

And that was backed up by the player himself who insisted he’s never seen anything like the “very special” Kop in full cry.

The Egyptian goal machine has been linked with just about every European giant, most particularly Real Madrid, after a stunning campaign which has already delivered 39 goals.

But Klopp is adamant there is no chance of Salah leaving Anfield just one season after arriving from Roma for £34million, as he explained the player KNOWS he is in the best hands on Merseyside.

Speaking to Bild in his German homeland, he said: “I know that Mo feels very comfortable here, and he knows that our style of play suits him very well, so I am not worried about a transfer.”


(Image: Action Images via Reuters)

Reports: Sergio Ramos suspended for Champions League semi ... while serving quarterfinal ban

Real Madrid captain Sergio Ramos will reportedly be suspended for the first leg of the Champions League semifinals … for his actions while serving a separate suspension during the quarterfinals.

Ramos missed Wednesday’s second leg victory over Juventus due to yellow card accumulation after being booked in the first leg. He watched from the stands in street clothes. But in the frantic final minutes, with Madrid having thrown away a three-goal lead, Ramos came down from his seat to field level.

He was shown by TV cameras right outside the tunnel at the Santiago Bernabeu, in between the two teams’ benches, late in the game:

Funny: job interview .MP

Job Interview. MP

OFFICER:- What is your name?
Monday:-  M.P. sir
OFFICER:- In full please
Monday:-  Monday Paul
OFFICER:- Your father's name?
Monday:-  M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What does that mean?
Monday:-  Matthias Paul
OFFICER:- Your native place?
Monday :   M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What's that?
Monday:-  Mkpuma Province
OFFICER:- What is your qualification?
Monday:-  M.P.
OFFICER:- (angry) What is that?!!!
Monday:-  Mathematics Professor
OFFICER:- So why do you need a job?
Monday:-   It is because of M.P. sir
OFFICER:   Meaning?
Monday:-  Money Problems
OFFICER:- Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your  personality like?
Monday:    MP sir.
OFFICER:   And what is that?
Monday:-  Marvelous Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you.
Monday:-  Sir, how was M.P. sir?
OFFICER:- And what's that again?
Monday:-   My Performance.
OFFICER:-  I think you have M.P.
Monday:-   Meaning?
OFFICER:-  Mental Problem!!!  Don't laugh alone.
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